Tuesday, March 28, 2006

morals and theories

its funny how you have all these morals and theories on life. the theories come from experiences although aren't you supposed to let everything prove itself to not do you harm. you arent supposed to have baggage. then agaon you are supposed to know better for the next time. this weekend proved that my theory that i should not go out of my way for a man unless he does the same for me many times before was backed by an interesting weekend. blah blah blah

so do you want to know what whatever type of liquor that i pointed at the club last week and coke tastes like. it tastes like shit. hahahahahaha i cant wait to go out this weekend i am going to talk to this guy if i see him again. we have met some new girls so we want to meet up and all hang this weekend. should be fun i will make it fun.
lata

Monday, March 27, 2006

new post funny stuff

so i got this bread from the grocery store. it was like a roll i thought it was a raspberry roll like a raspberry bagel. so i eat a small piece. and i'm like this is gross. then i eat another piece and i am like this is really gross so i look inside and theres ham all inside of it. i wanted to spit it out on the ground. man then i thought about that news report on the guy in the states who got some ice cream from this restaurant and was eating it and found something hard in his ice cream and was like this aint no nut. it turned out someone had got their fingertip cut off earlier that day and it fell in the batch.then i started cracking up to myself.
had a crazy weekend will let you know about that later.
paix

Friday, March 17, 2006

i was going to talk about this today

yeah so this below has been altering our school schedule. i went to the mall today to buy a cord for my ipod. (yeah we got back together) and there were a bunch of students running around and gathering in front of the mall entrance. the mall was closed with its gates down. there were cops surrounding the place. i just think these guys are lucky had this been the us or had they been black or both they would have got beat and shot with real bullets. then again if it were the U.S. their issue wouldnt be a concern.


below is a letter from one of the profs. back home:

Dear exchange students,

It has come to our attention that there will be street demonstrations related to the 3rd Anniversary of the conflict in Iraq, on Saturday March 18, in Paris, London and Copenhagen. We want all students in Orleans and Paris to be aware of the situation and stay alert. We don't expect any trouble, but please do not dress or act in ways that would call attention to yourself as an American. We urge you to avoid demonstrations and think of your own personal safety first.

The following is from the U.S. Embassy in Paris:


U.S. residents and travelers to France are advised that large street demonstrations are planned for Saturday, March 18. Authorities estimate that one million people may turn out in cities across France in opposition to a proposed youth employment plan. Demonstrations already held on March 16 involved several hundred thousand people. Events turned violent as police responded to unruly behavior by firing rubber bullets and tear gas at protestors who pelted them with paving stones, crowd control barriers and Molotov cocktails. There have been over 300 arrests nationwide and injuries on both sides.

Americans are warned to avoid any demonstrations and to immediately move away from areas where large congregations of people have gathered, as apparently peaceful demonstrations can quickly turn violent. There is no prediction as to which areas to avoid, as the previous demonstrations have occurred in many areas of Paris, including areas often frequented by tourists, as well as other cities throughout France including Marseilles, Bordeaux, Rennes, Nancy, and Toulouse.

Americans should stay informed about the current situation by paying attention to the extensive news coverage of events. U.S. citizens living in France or visiting for even short stays can register with the U.S. Embassy at the website shown below. Americans who find themselves in emergency situations can also find contact information for the U.S. Embassy below.

General Information:

Travelers in France who need assistance can contact the U.S. Embassy at 01-43-12-22-22, or by email at: citizeninfo@state.gov. The Consular Section of the U.S. Embassy in Paris is located at 2 Rue St. Florentin, 75001 Paris (Place de La Concorde, Metro Stop Concorde), tel. 011-33-1-43-12-22-22 or (in France) 01-43-12-22-22; fax 011-33-1-42-61-61-40. Further information can be obtained at the U.S. Embassy's web site at: http://france.usembassy.gov/.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

workout

doesn't it just bother you when you get a zit right there on the corner of your mouth, so it looks like a crumb or something? i am attempting to remove the word hate from my vocab.

yeah so yesterady i did yoga for the first time. it always feels good to workout. my knees were dying. i borrowed the dvd from one of the ladies here. it is a better sex through yoga intermediate disc. (so you know i'm working it hahahaha) i did about 20 minutes of it yesterday. i was nice and tired after that. tonight i did 30 minutes. gonna throw in some push ups and sit ups too. i want to go home with longer locked hair, in better shape, and maybe with a six pack. gonna dress like a woman too. building up my wardrobe got me some makeup its on world look out. i may even have an album done. yeah so i miss working out and being physical. it can get addictive. still havent done the indoor rock climbing wall. you know how it is you go to school for class and class only.

right now though ima go do like i used to do at the univ. of pittsburgh after i would workout. there i would finish off with a pint of ben and jerrys, tonight i choose to do fatty fashion and break up a chocolate bar in my mint chip ice cream. if only they had ben and jerrys here. i havent been able to eat a pint in awhile. thank god for a high metabolism.
lata

Monday, March 13, 2006

part 2

I have been active and believe in and seek revolution and human assistance in revolution. I have found myself in circles of talkers and semi-righteous people. No one can be perfect no one is free of what can be seen as "flaws." I had to accept this. What’s really funny is when we start creating levels for things we don’t like. For example one might say I really don’t like people who sell drugs but if they sold it in their past or if they only sell to their friends or if they don’t get caught that’s better than making big business off it. Another example I don’t like my man to cheat but if we are in dif. countries, or if she’s ugly I feel better, or as long as I don’t know, or if he only does it once. This stuff is humorous. What’s really funny is that no matter what things happen and people do things that you may not be able to handle, but where do you draw a line of who you associate with or maintain a relationship with. What can you absolutely not deal with? Why can't you deal with these things? Do you become a monk?

So when it comes to discussing the hurricane (and you may think this paragraph and the one above don’t relate but they do to me) I find myself avoiding the conversation. I don't like people asking me lots of questions on the subject. I don’t like listening to people talk about it that are not going to do anything about it.(the talkers) I can think positive and say maybe they will discuss with someone who will do something. You never know. I am discussing it right now so I guess I’m a talker too or a writer. I just want to speak about what’s been going on in my head. I don’t even tell people what people I know like my friends and family lost cause in the end they have them and what they got left be it there dignity or their life and must move forward. Yeah so there!
Paix

Sunday, March 12, 2006

not part 2 yet

ok so now my debit/atm/credit card is not working as an atm card. it works as a credit card, though. our "stipend" which when we got here had changed from 450 to 430 is used to cover our rent. our rent was supposed to be 350 utils included. for the first month we got our stipend in cash and had to pay a 150 deposit and a 200 or varying number fee for a deducted rent. well so 430 minus 350 is 80. internet and the phone bill are around 40 a month. something like that. in the end you would normally have 80 a month to spend as you like. now they decide to not put our stipend in our account until our rent is due because some people spend their stipend and some people havent paid the first months rent. well good thing i'm not starving hopefully no one else is. as of right now though i am without access to cash. maybe this is a sign to not spend my money. i dont want to order a new card.

in other news i can't wait for my package to get here from home. (thanks mom!)

EVER SINCE HURRICANE KATRINA

since the hurricane hit
well when I left new orleans and went to new york. I hoped to better myself and to grown up and move on. the main obstacle for me has been school. see school allowed me to stay in new york for that period of time, but school kept me from working and earning an income. now granted I could have done some part-time work and what not. the thing is I have a nice film resume and those jobs require no other obligations and that’s the type of job I could work everyday. most of my days in new york were spent locked in my room thinking just like I do at home. I really started seeing who’s important in my life. I decided I am no longer going to speak to people who piss me off every time I talk to them. so I started cutting people out slowly but surely. see I know people are who they are and most people are the way they are because of some underlying reason but, at this point in my life I can't deal with that. their problems add on to my problems and really what’s my motivation. I will maybe talk to you again when we've both healed. then my other thought is that I would like to have new people in my life. (except my family of course) new people who can't remind me of the old me as I try to progress. I don’t need anyone saying well you know you are this when I am trying to change that. friends and family think you'll never change. I’ve also analyzed what all my dreams mean. (movie script idea) I have dreams that play into my thoughts of things that are stressing me in my waking life. then there are the dreams that are far more symbolic of something greater. these usually consist of me in a house. now this house has been in my dreams for some years now. sometimes it is an office building instead of a house.
anyways, the basement is a morgue and has a mortician who will appear and chase you if you are in the basement too long. I haven't really explored the basement. sometimes I never go in the basement or when I do I am chased out of the basement.
the first and the second floors are normal actually the second is where the bedrooms are.
the third floor is haunted and supposedly so are all the floors above it to my knowledge. I roam around the third floor. there are certain rooms that, if you are in them too long you will get this overwhelming feeling of fear and a ghost will appear and push you or make you runaway. there are some rooms on this floor that aren’t haunted though. often times on this floor I find secret passage ways that take me back to the first or second floor. I have also been lost in several school buildings, searching for an exit having a hard time escaping.

so I sum this all up to mean that I fear my past matter fact I don't even want to think about it too long. it is almost hidden. my present is stagnant and I am not exactly complacent here because I explore the other two but this is a much happier place. the third floor and up are my future. I don't know what's beyond the next step (being the third floor) because there are fears there. the school dreams are obvious. thankfully I find myself able to escape after many many attempts. the house dreams also play into my waking life b/c the people who are around me a lot at the moment may appear in the house but they mostly appear in my life outside of the house. more recently I find myself hardly ever going in the house. I always drive by it. the last dream I had about it, it had become a haunted house for tourists because people hid there during the storm and there was a mystical force there, that protected them. so maybe I sold the house. I said all this to say that, now that I know what’s really wrong with me and have accepted it, I can move forward.

this will be part one
Part 2 will be about my feelings on discussing hurricane katrina

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

smile

don't worry be happy now! ooh ooh ohh ohh
the landlord says you rent is late he may have to litigate......

poem at 5am

why don't i write poems anymore? why don't i draw anymore? think i felt the need to focus on one craft. music is top of the list yet where am i with that. i'm pushing to get that drive with the feeling that i can do anything and that this is meant for me and that deserve something good out of life. i also look to gain a sense of self worth again and to no longer let insecurities hold me back. i move forward in my relationships of any nature with honesty, respect, and niceness. i have been very mean and bitter for a few years. i will jock my friend peeps for this one.


so to my poem:
you would think one would just accept the realities and move forward
even when the realities seem to block your way
give praises for another day
you think you'd be used to dealing with the realities
you think you would be like ok stop dwelling on it already
you think you would take your experiences and classify them as a definition for some aspect of this reality
but
thats wrong cause maybe you are just atttracting the wrong energy
people make me laugh with there theories on my life
one person tells me one thing and another tells me something else
but haven't i already said if your advice is so great why arent you using it to improve your own life
then again its nice to hear words of encouragement and words of wisdom
i'd rather be who i am them less of what i am
i could be bedridden, braindead, banished, battered, beneath the ground
life would be better if i created this place
but i didnt so i have to deal with that reality

my name is kj and i am addicted to youtube

myspace was my first addiction but now it is youtube. www.youtube.com ............................i miss tv i miss danny and clydes, picadilly, popeyes, and wing shack.

did i tell you i ate at subway in barcelona. yum!




paix

Monday, March 06, 2006

ipods suck

i official am mad at my ipod. we aren't speaking right now. i charge him and i leave the house and what do i get two maybe three songs before he cuts off telling me there is no battery power. well i'm tired his bs.

speaking of things that suck. i have been tempted to change the title of my blog to bored in orleans. my friends blog is sistainsendai hints the link to the side. the best meal i've had in orleans is maggis bag o soup. i found an african restaurant the other day had some fish and this mystery thing. the mystery thing smelled bad not horrible but bad. that didn't stop me from tasting it though. didnt taste good either i took it out back so it wouldnt stink up my room. the fish was ok but way too many bones. out of the group of us here one girl has gone home already. one girl was considering it but lets see flights to new orleans these days cost a lot in the states so imagine the cost from europe. she also feared that breaking the contract we signed means she has to pay for the time she would have spent here. one of my friends was considering going home early because her child is unable to visit. most of us don't like it here. many of the other students have bonded and they all hang out and do stuff together. i think if i get some sort of income you know by stripping or something cause thats the only thing that wont require me to be able to speak french lol then i can go to paris every weekend. if only i had friends out there. the train ride is 26 dollars then a hotel or hostel would be around 20i have to eat or not just like i have to sleep or not.(pull an allnighter catch the first train back) then the club may or may not have an entree fee which can range b/w 5 and 15 then the drinks which are like 5 to 7 dollars depending on the place. when you add that all up we are talking almost 100 dollars a weekend.

what would i do without myspace and youtube and the small collection of music on my computer? i think i would enjoy my stay here more if i spoke french already. blah blah blah
peace

Thursday, March 02, 2006

comments

ok so i think the comments work now. i had to change the settings. i was wondering why no one was leaving comments.
lata

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

american idol fix

THAT BOY CAN SING!